FOR IF A MAN OR WOMAN KNOWS NOT HOW TO RULE HIS OR HER OWN HOUSE, HOW SHALL HE OR SHE TAKE CARE OF THE CHURCH OF GOD?
So, husband and wife, father and mother, or one without the other in God’s providence, if you decide with God’s blessing to have children and to make a HOME, then that becomes your primary priority, and you must do it right. You must structure the home by biblical standards, and enforce them, in loving and disciplinary ways as Christians with the wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit.
That Christian home must be ruled by the Holy Spirit. Our Lord Jesus Christ must be the HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD-HOME! No exceptions, no compromises, and since your hand found that to do:
DO IT WITH ALL OF YOUR MIGHT!
A real Christian home requires two real Christian parents, both mother and father as strong believers in Jesus Christ. One without the other is simply not enough, for one believer parent and one non-believer parent produce:
A HOUSE DIVIDED!
No real Christian home, effective, meaningful, and lasting can ever be truly and thoroughly Christian, but compromised at the top, if one parent is a non-believer.
The first priority for Christian parenting and the making-structuring of the Christian home is the investment of:
TIME.
Adequate, qualitative and quantitative, LOVING time must be invested in the building of the Chrisitan home and is critical for maintaining those noble and ethical standards. The more time the better. Regular FAMILY TOGETHERNESS should be scheduled. David sought the face of the Lord three times daily, morning, noon, and evening. Perhaps the modern, busy, cellphone-age family should do the same.
The best quality time should be spent at home, in the home. That time should include one-on-one time, father and son and daughter, and mother and son and daughter. It need not be long, says Paul, but qualitative. It should be real time, where both parent and child desire to be with each other one-on-one. 2
The second priority is to train up that child in the way in which he or she should go so that when they are mature, on their own, making a difference in society, the Christ of Glory is #1 in their lives. That includes the full sharing of the beliefs of the parents so that the child knows the strong faith, hope, and love of the parent for Jesus Christ and for the family which he has blessed all members with. Each parent shares faith and belief and each child shares faith and belief. There is mutuality in dialogue, discourse, and discussion. Lecturing and sermonizing accomplish little in this day and age. Sharing MUTUALITY is critical. That builds respect and appreciation for EVERY MEMBER OF THE FAMILY.
The third parental responsibility and duty is to:
LISTEN.
Really listen to everything said, shared, confessed, to every word of every member. There comes the inevitable family battle between:
LISTENING v. LECTURING.
Far too many parents are too good at lecturing (do what I say and not necessarily as I do) and poor at listening or not at all. Nothing turns off a child or a spouse, nothing shows disrespect for that individual like not listening, NOTHING!
The fourth priority in building a strong Christian home is that of:
DIALOGUE.
Parents should encourage children to speak, share, be open and unafraid to share their deepest thoughts, feelings, and:
DOUBTS.
Especially spiritual-religious-Christian doubts, or any serious questions they may have about the faith. No comment, no word, no thought from any family member should ever be disparaged, NEVER! Nothing and no individual should ever be ridiculed, criticized, or presented with real negative disrespectful reactions or responses. Everything said and shared should be respected and respectfully dialogued with.
The fifth priority of building and maintaining a Christian HOME is that of:
TRANSPARENCY.
Every member of the family circle should be open and feel confident in sharing their most intimate and deeply felt thoughts and feelings. When the family meets to discuss anything, spiritual or secular, Christian or cultural, anything from the head or heart goes, ANYTHING! Anything deeply felt and not shared finds out elsewhere in the secular, anti-Christian culture of today, or even acting out against the parents in harmful ways. Nothing prevents criminality or anti-social behavior, including the 3
illegal and overuse of alcohol and drugs, than parental openness and loving transparency.
The sixth priority of a home, a Christian and biblical home, is that it be:
TRUTHFUL.
Every member of the household must fully and confidently believe that their Christian home stands for:
THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH.
The cardinal rule for any parent or child is that both parent and child should:
NEVER LIE.
NEVER. Nothing destroys love and respect more than a lie.
The seventh priority of any permanent Christian HOME is that its biblical standards should never be compromised. If they are, in any way, there should be confession, openly admitting wrongdoing, apologizing with the vow that those standards will never be broken again to the best of the offender’s ability.
The eighth most important priority in a Christian home is to:
BUILD BOLDNESS.
So that, every member of the Christian household, each parent and every child, should be:
UNASHAMED OF THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST.
Standing for the faith, witnessing of that faith, never apologizing for strong Christian faith, uncompromised in every way.
The building, the establishment, and perhaps most importantly, the maintaining of a Christian home with its biblical and Christ-like standards, loving to the core is a constant challenge, demanding the very best of each of the home members, requiring time, effort, planning, and prioritizing in every way possible, so that as parents mature and LEARN (they must), and children are trained up in the way in which they should go:
NO MEMBER OF THE FAMILY WILL DEPART FROM THE CHRISTIAN FAITH THEREIN!